CauseEffect: Hetalia Style!
by KolKolKol
Summary: America presents one of the worst celebrities ever, so Canada retaliates with something that may be even worse. Bashing of Justin Bieber, Rob Pattinson, the Jonas Brothers, and Miley Cyrus. Rated for America's f-bombs. Oneshot.


**WARNING: This oneshot includes bashing of Miley Cyrus, Justin Bieber, Rob Pattinson, and the Jonas Brothers. If you like them, don't complain about it to me, because I don't care if "OMFG EDWARD IS TEH SEX!ONEELEVENNNN!" or "JUSTIN BIEBER IS FUCKIN INCREDIBLER DAN U!%$*" **

**I don't own Hetalia, or any of the "stars" mentioned here. :D**

**ANOTHER WARNING: America drops the F-bomb a few times here, so if that offends you...either don't read or too bad.  
**

"But Mattie, how could you?"

"Because, Alfred, your actions have consequences! Arthur always tried to teach you that, but you never learned! So here's another Life Lesson!"

America and Canada were spending their fifteen-minute break from the G8 conference standing in the hallway, arguing over cause and effect - something America had never been able to grasp. A few of the other nations were watching them, mainly because they too were sick of what America and Canada had created. America stood like a petulant child: arms crossed defensively over his signature bomber jacket, lower lip sticking out slightly, bright blue eyes glaring out at his brother from under wild golden locks. Canada, however, was exactly the opposite; he looked like a slightly-angry diplomat. The only thing that showed his anger was the identical glare he was shooting America.

"I'm the United States of Motherfucking America! I don't need your Life Lessons!"

"Alfred these lessons are needed by everyone! And please refrain from your vulgarities, it adds nothing to your statements except the hint that you're an insufferable prat!"

"Prat? Ooh, look who's been hanging around Eyebrows so much!" America said, flinching when someone swatted him upside the head. "Ow, what the hell, Iggy? What'd I do?"

"Listen to your brother," England said sternly. "Stop calling me that, as well. My name is England, but to you it's The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland."

"Aw, like anyone's going to remember that one," America scoffed.

"Matthew is correct. You created something truly disgusting, so you get something disgusting right back," England said.

"But that's cruel and unusual punishment!" America yelled.

"No, Alfred, it's fair," Canada said. "You made Miley Cyrus, so Justin Bieber is your punishment."

"Don't you mean Justine?" America asked, confused.

"No, it's Justin."

America's eyes grew to the size of plates. "Whoa, you mean ... that's a guy?"

Canada nodded.

"No fucking way! No way in Hell is that a guy!" America claimed. "What about the voice? The hair? Everything about him screams 'prepubescent girl!' "

"That's what you get for Cyrus," Canada said. "She's poisoning us all with her bad singing, horrid television show, and lack of clothing."

"You two stop arguing this moment!" England ordered. "I already warned you once, and now I suppose it's time for me to teach you again!"

"You wouldn't," America said, becoming horrified.

England nodded. "Yes, I would."

"Not Robert Pattinson!" Canada wailed.

"Make him wash his hair!" America begged, and turned to Canada. "And make Justine there grow a pair of balls!"

"Then make Cyrus put on age-appropriate clothes!" Canada retorted.

"And sing right!" England added. "And you!" he said, glaring at the calmer of the boys. "What is wrong with you? Justin Bieber's middle name is Drew! There was a lass in my ninth grade class who's name was Drew!"

"So he's a little effeminate," Canada said. "Yeah, he's terrible, but I only did it to get back at Alfred!"

"And I only created Pattinson to stop you!" England said.

Everyone in the room stared at America. Shocked whispers like, "So it was you!" or "What the hell is your problem?" sounded through the crowd.

"This is all your fault!" Canada yelled, actually getting angry for once. "If you hadn't created that terrible Miley Cyrus, Justin Bieber and Robert Pattinson wouldn't exist! _And_ you made the Jonas Brothers!"

As predicted, the last claim made several nations very, very angry.

And thus, America became the pinnacle of yet another celebrity scandal.

**A/N: I made this little oneshot because I hate pretty much every Disney star there ever was. I hate them, and I hope they all die in a fire. Then I realized that America made Cyrus, Canada made Bieber, and England made Pattinson. Probably not in that order, but I don't care. :D**

**Enjoy! Reviews/flames always welcome!  
**


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